Dear Austria, Thank you. Forever yours, your neighboring countries
by Renáta Nelson
10 December 2021
Dear Austria,
We would like to sincerely thank you for acting in such a timely fashion by instating your second consecutive Christmas season lockdown. Although, we feel a bit sorry for your vendors and restaurant owners, many of whom are still waiting for money from the state from 2020 losses, we won’t dwell on the past. Instead, we are doing our part. We are fully prepared to accommodate your increasingly depressed citizens in our border towns and cities with open hotels, spas, shops, restaurants, and Christmas markets. Many of our countrymen are welcoming the opportunity to practice welcoming and conversing with their customers in German or perhaps English and are prepared to answer any of your questions.
There is no need to stress about last-minute shopping. There is ample shopping just across the border and plenty of handmade gifts being sold at all our Christmas market stands. For your both your government or private sector employees, who are tired of going to the office forced to stay inside and drudge away at work while eating delivery food and unable to enjoy the beautiful holiday atmosphere characteristic of Vienna, Salzburg, Innsbruck, Linz and all other Austrian cities and towns, we invite you to pop on over to Bratislava, Brno, Ceske Budejovice, Ljubljana, Sopron, Szombathely or even Udine for a nice lunch or dinner. Looking for a slightly longer and more relaxing escape, hop the wonderfully economical Regio Jet to Budapest or Prague and enjoy lángos, chimney cake, grilled meats, Glühwein, hot chocolate and other delights at the Christmas markets or relax in the thermal baths.
And since your gastronomy and hotel sectors will only open at a later date than the stores, we are delighted to provide these services. For those Austrian residents who are annoyed at going shopping in places where you can’t stop to have a break with a nice hot coffee or steaming punch, toilet facilities and baby changing tables, we, your neighbors, have got them covered.
In a season of giving, it is truly a time to celebrate our regional cooperation in the true spirit envisioned by the European Economic Community. While you focus on ensuring your health system doesn’t collapse, we are ensuring that your countrymen don’t break down under depression and mental health issues associated with lack of daylight and lockdowns. You can claim victory in terms of Corona numbers and we are able to celebrate our growing economies. We are ever grateful for this blessing to our countries and the trust you have bestowed in us for this wonderful role.
Thank you again, dear Austria.
Forever yours,
Your neighboring countries to the East and South.
